my tears ricochet

im just rambling here

excerpt from my journals

inspired from my personal family issues

inspired from Taylor Swift’s my tears ricochet

i am gonna keep this fucking short + concise + simple.

i don’t have the best relationship with my family.

and i hvae to stop therapy because at this point im saving up money so that i can afford another session with my human astrologer so that i can master the energetics of my own physical body + emotional body

because after trial and error, failed astral travels, splintered parts of my soul, letting at least 80% parts of me and old versions of me die —

failed witchcraft experiments, failed hexes, failed curses, failed shielding attempts,

my personal energetic blindspot was (and is) me forgetting to ground to mother earth.

and forgetting to ground efficiently + effectively everyday, even when things are going well. even when on the outside, everything seems fine, nothing is burning, even if i don’t have to worry about whether i am going to make it to the other day or not.

i have to efficiently + effectlively kill the people pleasing versions of my old versions of James, the version of me who was always begging for mercy, begging for others’ forgiveness, craving and yearning for emotionally unavailable handsome men who treated me like i was some kind of disposable condom.